1. Isaac Rutto – There were reports earlier in the day that former governor Isaac Rutto was airlifted to State House to discuss his entry into the coalition between Uhuru and Raila. It is also said that Rutto will replace Energy CS Keter. Uhuru supporters are convinced that this is the last nail in DP Ruto’s coffin and that Rutto could be made the Kalengin kingpin. Ruto supporters on the other hand are laughing hysterically at the thought that a nobody like Isaac Rutto – who couldn’t even defend his governor’s seat – could be considered a threat to the Deputy President. They are convinced that both Gideon Moi and Isaac Rutto can do nothing to the hustler.
2. Magufuli – Kenyans find Tanzania’s president Magufuli ridiculous. He has handled covid-19 in his country very poorly. It is said that he has a PhD in Chemistry but still insists that the only way for Tanzanians to be safe from the virus is to stay in the body of Christ and go to church. Kenyans have called for the closure of our border with Tanzania and for the government to be extra vigilant. Failure to do so could lead to increased spread of the disease in Kenya.
3. Deputy President – Amid the hullabaloo, the Deputy President has been silent. A few Kenyans think that until this silence is broken, maybe we are all being taken for a ride. After all, this is politics. Even so, majority of Kenyans think that the DP has been most shamefully betrayed by Uhuru. This betrayal stings because it is said that Ruto has supported the President all through and has been very loyal, only to be stabbed in the back. As further proof of the betrayal, there are reports that the Deputy President’s official residence will be under renovation and that the tenants have been asked to move out. The reports could just be rumors. However, Ruto’s supporters are convinced that he has been betrayed and hate the dynasties that are ganging up against the hustler even more.
4. Hussein Mohammed – It seems Hussein Mohammed is being missed by Kenyans who have been agitating for his return on twitter. The prevailing feeling is that Citizen TV’s coverage and analysis of political events has lost its taste and that it is only the return of Hussein that can help.
5. Itumbi – Denis Itumbi is claimed to have been a master of forgery and generally a digital criminal. It is widely believed that he was involved in the hacking of ICC. He has been accused of forging his academic documents and among other things, the Ruto assassination letter. Someone sponsored the hashtag #ArrestItumbiForForgeries and it has been fun watching people rant about it, even though it will almost certainly lead to nothing like an arrest. Kenyans seem to understand the role of Itumbi, he is a blogger and bloggers must use every digital weapon at their disposal to win the war, including forgeries.
6. 237 Kenyans – 237 Kenyans have so far lost their loves to the ongoing floods while around 160,000 have been misplaced. Kenyans are frustrated that the government does not seem to be treating floods with the seriousness it deserves. There is concern that floods have occurred before and that by this time, we should have put measures in place to mitigate their damage. Our disaster preparedness is widely believed to be a failure.
7. KEMRI – KEMRI is broke. Meanwhile, much to the anger of Kenyans, the government focuses on political sideshows to divert attention. Kenyans cannot help but wonder how the billions of shillings that have been given as aid to the country have been spent. It is believed that the money will eventually end up in the pockets of individuals. Meanwhile, we have fallen behind on testing yet we have received donations both in kind and in cash. There are some who think that the government is deliberately under-testing to give the illusion that the pandemic is still under control.
8. Milicent Omanga – Kenyans are laughing at Nominated Senator Milicent Omanga, who took wrong advice and decided not to attend the Jubilee Parliamentary Group meeting, knowing very well that she was nominated. She should have played smart but now she may have to take the fall and her political career has been put in jeopardy.