***While we’re still creating awareness against SGBV, as one of our readers recently commented on this post, it’s important to answer the question: What should the victims of SGBV in campus do to deal with the resulting physical and emotional trauma and be aided in getting justice? Find the answer at the end of this post, which details a real account of SGBV***
Today’s youths have become like animals. We have made ourselves owners of LIFE given by God. We have the belief that we can take life of others because we feel like we own them like our own eyeballs. A story by Elly, best friend of mine in Multimedia University, has brought pain in my heart and mind. Please go through.
“I do take this opportunity to greatly thank you big friend @WaErima for coming out with such a task in coordination with DekuTrends, may Allah bless you big.
I do support this (Activism against SGBV) since someone who cares about the other one won’t sit down and watch such animosity take place. Actually it was this year, last month on 8th, as usual, being our first year in the university, this was a day of its own style since we had the so called Freshers Night. Vividly I recall we had an assignment relating to the MMU radio programes and that we had forms to be signed by each programer in the studio. 🔥 🔥. So I took my girl to the studio. On arrival, we got in and found Strapis who I can’t call a gentleman but a growing guy who signed just after ending the show at 1pm. On ending the show the guy played a Luo song that is famous and I found myself singing along. The guy turned to me and asked where I hail from – that is my homeland. On answering him, he turned to my girl and on hearing that she was a Meru, he began having a conversation in Meru language with ma girl… He asked her to hand him the form so that he could assist her through the exercise. He again asked for the contact so that he could call her on finishing the task…. I felt like swallowing up the boy since I sincerely was jealous as he was trying to have ma gal for a date..I over reacted and left the girl, headed to my friends hostel room before departing to my house outside the campus.
The time was 6pm; almost 5 hours since I left my girl…. Before leaving I recall I had tried sending more than 50 texts and called 15 times which went unanswered. I was with a friend of mine with whom we were walking to my rented house in Rongai. On the way we decided to pass through ma girl’s rented house since she stayed outside the campus too… Surprisingly she was not in, that was around 7 :20 pm….. I tried calling again but in vain..
We decided to head to my dwelling place but my heart was throbbing heavily in my chest. After about one hour, we decided to head to the campus for the celebrations night to relieve the thoughts but on the way, I was forced to branch once again to the girls house… On arriving, I got through the gate and met Strapis, only that I couldn’t tell since he had dressed up differently and somehow due to darkness. The guy was actually getting out and I focused my mind on where I was heading to.
On arrival at her door, I tried calling but no voice could be heard. Shockingly the boy came back and informed me that the girl had drunk too much to an extent that she couldn’t even talk or walk. On seeing this my friend who was waiting at the gate came over. Strapis tried to convince us that he would treat us with drinks only if we could leave the girl to rest and accompany him back to school. Since I don’t use liquor, I told myself that I was not going to get off from the door. I urged my pal to leave with Strapis since I was 100% sure that the door had not been locked up completely. On leaving, I tried to pass my right hand through the channel that allows inward closing of the door and lucky enough it flung open. I got in and switched on the lights.
What I saw made me shed tears; my girl laid on bed hopelessly. She couldn’t talk so I decided to call for aid from her neighbor who came along with a friend. I greatly thank the two gentlemen. The guys came in and after sharing the information, they got out and came in with lemon juice that they offered to her. After taking it she came back to her senses a bit. After a thirty minutes discussion, they left having assured me not to leave the house since Strapis’ target was to come back… Having agreed I was left deeply in thoughts, not knowing what to do since I was not sure whether the boy had done something wrong to ma loving girl… I sat deeply thinking till morning when the girl woke up. Having a brief discussion again, she told me she wasn’t sure whether the boy had done any harm to her.
The only thing she said she could recall was that she tried resisting since Strapis was forcing himself on her. I was almost bursting up, since if such would have happened, what would have been my girl’s health status… Being responsible and as a sign of care, I took my girl to the Campus’ dispensary for a check up…. Thanks to the medical persons in there who took part in the exercise since everything was done well. Though she contracted uterus bacteria and fungi I’m lucky she is under medication.
I’m kindly urging we men in different campuses and learning institutions to kindly have kind hearts to our sisters. Have a question in mind that what if it’s your only daughter, sister or any one close to you being handled this way? Let’s show mercy, please please, for a better tomorrow”
I have re-read Elly’s narration and am still in wonder of why some of we men should succumb to such cruelty. We grow up as little kids with the mind that life is sweet and lovely but now it’s becoming short and sad day in day out. In Elly’s words let’s thinks before action. I am a man, I won’t term myself as a gentleman for I leave it for people to do so.
Boy child let’s not complain so much that we are being targeted by the society. We too have our problems but there are problems and quizzes to ask. Like; how many times have we raised our issues? Do we have the bravery to raise them? Have they been addressed to our satisfaction? We are dying in our own cocoons with the mindset of fear of intimidation from our peers. If we see we are the targets, then let’s bring out our grievances and show them the bitter truth but not through animosity and butchery. To all boyfriends and men out there;
(i) What would you do if that was your girlfriend?
(ii) What would you have done to Strapis who did the unthinkable?
(iii) Who do you blame; “Elly” or “Strapis” or “Elly’s girl”?
(Your views and comments will be appreciated so much)
- The Gender Violence and Recovery Center, NWH. Website: gvrc.or.ke – It gives free medical and psycho-social support to victims of gender based violence.
Wangu Kanja Foundation
Call:+254-722 790 404
+254 774 746 699
Centre for Assault Recovery of Eldoret (CAR-E)
Helpline:+254 532033471, +254 53 2061005
Coast Province General Hospital, next to the casualty/emergency unit.
Helpline: 254 20 2179519 / 2179521
Airtel 0734 466 466 , Safaricom 0722 208 652
Niskize is a 24hr counseling call center
Helpline: 0900 620 800
Helpline: The helpline (116) is operational round the clock while their email is active during working hours. They also have a Whatsapp line- 0722116116, through which you can chat with them anytime between 7 am and 6 pm.
DekuTrends is committed to the SGBV campaign. Stay tuned as we create awareness on SGBV in campus.