As the editor of this website, my job is to find good content for my readers. If it seems like an easy job, let me assure you that it’s not. “Good” content has to first of all be interesting to young people, a condition which is not easy to meet. But what complicates things is the fact that this “interesting” content has to meet certain moral standards. Abiding to moral standards means that, for example, I should not allow content that glorifies rape. That’s an easy one.
And as a Christian, my moral standards should be higher, right? Accordingly, in the past, I have turned down stories that had aspects of pornography in them because they would be glorifying immorality. And also because my friends and parents would judge me for being used as a tool for evil.
But some time ago, one of my writers sent me an article about virginity. The article talks about the hymen and its use as a measure of virginity and goes ahead to burst some myths about that subject. Is that pornography or biology? I saw it more as biology, just like the study of the reproductive system in form 3. So I approved it.
Since then, I have approved several articles that could be viewed as controversial depending on who you ask. One talks about virginity, sex and gender. Click here to read it. It shows how virginity is wrongfully used against the female gender. This one, written on world Menstrual Health Day, is a narration of a girl’s experience when she had her first period. Menstruation is a taboo topic. I myself had to stop reading, two lines into the article, and go gather the strength to continue.
Before we continue, let me remind you that my audience is made largely of campus students. We would like to think that campus is a place where people go to class and church but let’s face it, things on the ground are different. People drink and take weed, even though their parents can swear that they don’t. Oh and having sex is not a big deal.
If this is to be an appropriate platform for such an audience, we have to mirror that, right? And that’s where the problem comes in.
The article that really made me ask the question, “how far is too far?” is the recent article on the G-Spot.(read here) It explains what the G-Spot is and goes ahead to talk about female orgasms; including a description on what they feel like and how to know if a girl is faking an orgasm. You see how that could be controversial, right?
Even as I edited the article and shared it out, I was in doubt as to whether I was doing the right thing. However, I allowed it and ever since, I have been turning these questions over and over in my head, “What is right and what is wrong? What makes it wrong?”
One of the people I shared my dilemma with told me that, more or less, I was teaching people how to give girls orgasms and thus promoting immorality.
This accusation left my little Christian heart horror stricken! When did I become an agent of the devil?! I asked myself what my parents, who may have viewed the article, would think about me. It didn’t help.
But then I realized that what mattered above all else was my conscience. So I looked inward and I asked myself, “Why is this bothering me? And most importantly, why did I approve the article?”
The most horrible accusation I could bring against myself is that I had basically given people a lesson on sex and by so doing, had encouraged them to have sex and taught them that it was okay to have sex. So as a Christian, I should probably be hanged for allowing this platform to be used to promote sex.
I realized that all my guilt arose from the fact that sex is bad. I believe that sex is bad and most people who read that article and condemned me for my immorality believe that sex is bad.
And that right there was my Eureka moment.
Sex was created by God. It was meant for procreation. It was also meant as a unifying tool between husband and wife, to fulfill the statement, “And the two shall become one.” God also made it pleasurable. It was evidently created as a good thing. Why do we so firmly believe that sex is bad?
And get this, we don’t make a distinction, no. We generally believe that sex is bad. Yes, at the back of our minds, in fine print, we know that sex is good in marriage. But at the fore front of our minds, in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS, we generally consider sex a very evil thing, which is why it is a capital sin to mention the word in church, let alone discuss the topic.
I suppose the reason we believe that sex is bad is because it is misused, right?
However, a lot of things are misused, but we don’t label them evil. The internet can be used to spread hate speech and recruit terrorists but we are very clear in our belief that though it can be misused, the internet in itself is not bad. It is good.
Why don’t we make that distinction when it comes to sex?
Here is an answer: We have learned about the sex from the world: Romance novels in primary school, movies even on television at home, songs that are everywhere, music videos and of course, the unavoidable internet.
I have heard fellow Christians quote the Bible and say, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.”
It will interest you to note that most of the young people who commit such sins as sex before marriage and abortion passed through churches. They not only passed through but lived there since childhood and for a considerable part of their teenage.
When the world is busy teaching all of us about sex, the church is busy promoting sex as a taboo subject. When you think about it, it is more of a sin to discuss sex in church than it is to have sex outside marriage in private.
I have also heard another quote from the Bible saying, “Train your child in the way he should grow up and he will never depart from it even when he is an adult.”
The above quote is very true. But instead of training us in the way of knowledge so that we won’t perish, the church has very successfully trained us in the way of ignorance. In so doing, they very effectively set us up for failure.
And do you know what the Bible says about that? It says somewhere that “Whoever among you leads one of my little ones to sin, it would be better for him to hang a huge millstone around his neck and drown himself in a lake.”
If we are sinning yet we have been raised in the church, don’t you think the church has failed? I said that they have raised us in ignorance and I will show how.
Here is Mr. Bones. Let’s assume that he is from a very remote part of a certain desert and that he has never seen a vehicle or a tarmac road. The church brings him to a place with a tarmac road and tells him, “You should not cross this road without looking left and right.” The church doesn’t tell Mr. Bones what should be looked for when you turn left and right because it’s a taboo subject. Mr. Bones is just expected to follow the rule.
Don’t you think it would be more sensible to tell Mr. Bones that, “If you don’t look both ways, you could get run over by a vehicle. You could even die like I almost did some time ago when I failed to follow this rule.”
Most parents act like they were angels and saints when they were young. You would think they have never heard the word sex. But the truth is that they made mistakes. However, since sex is a taboo topic, they would die first before talking to us about it and hopefully helping us avoid the same mistakes they made.
The church and our parents expect us to avoid sex until marriage. They don’t get us to clearly understand why. They don’t show us how to avoid sex yet they very well know the world we live in. It’s like in their minds; our bodies are made of wood or something like that.
Remember how I told you that we have been raised in ignorance and that it is difficult for a child to depart from the way in which he was raised?
Our society has taught us that we shouldn’t talk about menstruation. Let girls feel ashamed of it until they figure out how to deal with it. Let it make them depressed. Let it make them feel unclean. It’s a small price to pay. The crucial thing is that we hypocritically maintain the illusion of holiness and morality by avoiding talks about such shameful subjects at all costs.
We men should not talk about our feelings. You either be a man and handle your depression or commit suicide. That’s not our problem. Our main concern is that you don’t behave like a girl, a sissy.
Don’t teach high school children about using protection for sex. Giving them such knowledge would be the height of immorality and devil worship. Let them go get pregnant and ruin the rest of their lives. Let them go abort. Just don’t talk about sex. It doesn’t matter that they already know about it from a million other sources in the world. It doesn’t matter that they may have been given the wrong perception of sex. It doesn’t matter that the perception should be corrected by giving them the right information. Just don’t talk about it.
Don’t talk about sex in church at all costs. Imagine the crusade that my church would hold to exorcise my demons if I suggested that married couples should receive sex education. Sex education in church is unthinkable. Let them have problems in their sex life that hinder their marriage. So long as we don’t talk about sex and they don’t get divorced at all costs.
Why? Because sex is a very bad, very shameful thing. No. It doesn’t matter that God created it to be good. He must have made a mistake.
And so children of the Church will continue to perish. And the church will continue to judge them like they clearly enjoy doing. And they will continue to be hypocritical about it. Is there a better example of a group that washes the cup outside but leaves it dirty inside?
Anyway, I’m done pointing fingers. After all, I am in no position to.
In conclusion, a rational person should consider all the information about a decision before he or she makes it. If you want to start a hotel, you don’t just listen to your friend who tells you that the hotel business is good. You find out everything you can about it.
Similarly, If you want to start having sex, it would be intelligent if you knew exactly what you’re getting yourself into. It’s good to know that on the one hand, it’s pleasurable but that on the other hand, it has negative effects. I use the term “negative effects” vaguely because, well, my church doesn’t discuss sex so how would I know? All I know is that if it didn’t have negative effects, the church wouldn’t require us to abstain, would it? The only way we can have this information is if we actually start talking about these things.
Right now, the only information that the youth get about decisions that they make is peer pressure and media.
Society didn’t talk to you honestly about weed before they sent you to campus, did they? They lied to you that it was impossible to be normal and dress well and be likeable after taking ‘bhang’ as they call it.
In the same way, they led you to believe that sex is bad. We only talk about good things and sex is not one of them. But the world told you that sex, from a worldly view, is very sweet. Who is to blame if a young person chooses the good over the bad?
What is good content?
You tell me by taking a short and quick DekuTrends Survey here.
Do you think I’m right? Do you think I’m wrong? Do you think I’m crazy? Whatever your opinion, share it with me and about 1000 other comrades on the DeChat App using the hashtag #SiliconEditorial. Click here to download the DeChat App on Play Store. You can also leave comments at the bottom of this page.
Here is another Silicon Editorial:
- The Secret to Life. Click here to read it.