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REVELATIONS…
Hello people I need a little advise….I am 23 a muslim…. We all have our first love and heartbreak well i had mine when 18 and he later broke my virginity when 19 you see i was a conservative girl too neive for relationships so my frist encounter was a total whack all pain and no pleasure soo i assumed thats how sex was after a while i realised i wasnt enjoying it as people put it it was always painful and i always wanted it to end… I avoided sex the guy understood we would stay months without only to realised the guy was a manhoe the verry bed that broke my vurginity had plenty of ladies and after all that he said i wasnt good in bed… As stupid as i was i still forgave him for all his cheating and asked him to teach about sex cz i knew nothing and being an introvert i had no one to talk to… At the end the guy got a different lady pregnant together with the ladys sister… I was soo heartbroken stayed single for 2 years still healing from the heartbreak….

So i turned 22 still afraid of sex cz i had a mentality i know nothing about it no experience so i decided to be open with a guy whom we had somehow connected through a friend and developed a long distance relationship it was better cz od the less sex…. He kept priding around how he was gonna make me come give me the best orgasm by then i had a little idea from movies and porn so we meet up and aftr 5 min the guy wants to prove his point started romancing and the minute he saw i was wet he wanted in but i was wet but not turned on so the sex ended up with the same experience i wanted it to end before it started but i put on a facade that night and the morning glory… Then the guy has the audacity to say he made me orgasm.. ..I feel like i am the problem soo i sought to give myself my own pleasure and ended the relationship after a while…. I wanted to feel what the fuss is about sex but i dnt enjoy…. I tried a casual fling once but i dnt get the sexual stimulatiln that turns ue on to want sex…it at tymz am tempted to try lesbianism but i dnt want to dwell there…… Like this guy charlie and his story i feel lonely as well being an introvert and residing in my own pleasure work movies and internet…. I really want to enjoy a relationship with the pleasure of sex but my onlu encounter are 2 which were flops… I have a low esteem about having it cz my frst love said i ddnt know how its embrassing to tell my friends….Is it the men who are lousy..? Am i the problem…? Am i the only one experiencing this…? I dnt know so low and confused.

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