Femininity

*Dorothy Orina*

Colossal splash of Femininity today? Okay, let’s go…

I keep chewing on why “uko na umama” is an insult, or rather, why society made it that way. Why being feminine or having feminine qualities is deemed more tolerable than plausible…

Anyway…

You probably read books during your free time, no, you’ve actually set time apart to read, to be fluent, to be grandiloquent. To throw words there and there, you know? The conversation game? To be descriptive and adequately expressive. Eloquent. Impeccably eloquent. Doesn’t it just draw some positive attention? I mean, you have it easy when your heart starts to unsolicitedly send ravenous electromagnetic waves.

And you’d probably like to ‘read minds’; to accurately tell what a person is feeling, thinking or is in need of; to be highly alert and intuitive of situations and people; to have the ability to intricately scrutinize, analyze and predict outcomes.  

You’d wish to be able to draw insight from what seems intangible and have a heightened sensory ability.

Not just that, you are ambitious. You want to be a better leader, one who nurtures the team’s talent and inspires the best kind of work ethic with values, purpose and passion. Of course, you value and uphold collaboration. Team work! Yes? You will even grant it the wonderful favor of appearing more than once in your resume.

What if I told you, that in all these steps towards self-development, you are, in essence, embodying femininity?

And you’ll be exhilarated and proud of your success at self-development. Of your steadfast efforts to embracing and concretizing femininity in yourself.

Now, I’d congratulate you in your “umama” but you won’t take it lightly because society has really taken time to incessantly clutter your mind and alter how you view things. And words.

Which shoves a chunk of cud into my mandibles again…

Did society also shove it to you that feminine qualities are less valuable than the direct, competitive, courageous and assertive qualities considered to be masculine?

There exists a female wired brain and a male wired brain… And just like we don’t get to choose the location of our protuberant pimples, we don’t get to choose what brain we pop into this world with. Biology does its very-many-things and with a lousy mood, it decides not to give you enough testosterone because it didn’t like the shape of your head, or you were taking too much space, or you were giving it too much work than it was accustomed to before your ever so sudden presence. I mean, it just blinked, and there you were!  A fertilized egg. A baby. A conceived human. Additional work .Hormone deliveries. Waste clearance…  And so, NO TESTOSTERONE FOR YOU!

But you began to seem somehow, just somehow, potentially adorable so it sprinkled a tinge of it… Not too much because your face didn’t earn it and your movements weren’t too pleasing, for it anyway.

So you ended up in a male body, with a brain that is partially feminine. Or in a female body with extreme femininity.

Similarly, it could bestow on you a boatload of testosterone. Which would in effect make a male too masculine and a female to possess a partially male-wired brain.

Some males end up with an entirely female-wired brain and vice versa and they identify as transsexual because they feel trapped in the wrong body, having interests and quintessential behaviors of the opposite gender.

Masculine and feminine behaviors are believed to be merely socially constructed. But they are actually biologically influenced. With the brain activity being monitored, a male-wired brain lights up colossally while reverse parking or reading 2D maps and creating a mental 3D picture of it as opposed to the few spots that light up in a female-wired brain while doing the same thing. 

You might have also wondered how the best English teachers have almost invariably been female. Or how easy it is to talk to a female psychologist. How they are able to meticulously and ever so naturally wind your haphazard slapdash mix of yarn into a neat almost palatable ball.

Everyone has a combination of masculine and feminine qualities. Every single day, we unconsciously aspire and work towards embodying and polishing feminine and masculine qualities to suit or better our male-wired and female-wired brains.

Like being alert and having the ability to run several parallel tasks-feminine, being good at spatial skills-masculine, being personal beings-feminine… just to mention but a few

I do understand why society is opposed to the evolved feminism… Because it claims much more than a similarity in the genders, which is on its own, very much spurious.

We are EQUAL but DIFFERENT. And Feminism fights for EQUALITY not SIMILARITY. Don’t let evolved feminism steal your femininity. Own it!

Read a couple more articles on Feminism written by Dorothy Orina:

  1. Pain demands to be felt. Which is more painful, a kick in the balls or childbirth?
  2. Little. Would you raise your child a feminist?
  3. Family over Career. Which should you choose?

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D_ottie

Author D_ottie

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Shadowrine says:

    Maann!!..well I guess females use that *exclamation too..
    A perfect depiction though…and totally relatable..
    I wonder if women ask each other to stop umama and what they mean when they say so.
    I also wonder what ubaba could mean it were conspicuous..

  • With the society’s view of openly known aspects of masculinity bearing more value than those known to be feminine, ubaba would definitely mean something nicer, …You know, you are the man! No one says you are the woman!
    ….
    And yes! Most definitely…women as well, use the phrase as an insult
    Quite unfortunately
    And it’s one of the many habits that are unconsciously garnered and embraced… You don’t think too much about what you do , or the actual meanings of the words you use
    So you just keep up life allowing and encouraging insults to the inflected symbol of your future self

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