*Dorothy Orina*

Colossal splash of Femininity today? Okay, let’s go…

I keep chewing on why “uko na umama” is an insult, or rather, why society made it that way. Why being feminine or having feminine qualities is deemed more tolerable than plausible…


You probably read books during your free time, no, you’ve actually set time apart to read, to be fluent, to be grandiloquent. To throw words there and there, you know? The conversation game? To be descriptive and adequately expressive. Eloquent. Impeccably eloquent. Doesn’t it just draw some positive attention? I mean, you have it easy when your heart starts to unsolicitedly send ravenous electromagnetic waves.

And you’d probably like to ‘read minds’; to accurately tell what a person is feeling, thinking or is in need of; to be highly alert and intuitive of situations and people; to have the ability to intricately scrutinize, analyze and predict outcomes.  

You’d wish to be able to draw insight from what seems intangible and have a heightened sensory ability.

Not just that, you are ambitious. You want to be a better leader, one who nurtures the team’s talent and inspires the best kind of work ethic with values, purpose and passion. Of course, you value and uphold collaboration. Team work! Yes? You will even grant it the wonderful favor of appearing more than once in your resume.

What if I told you, that in all these steps towards self-development, you are, in essence, embodying femininity?

And you’ll be exhilarated and proud of your success at self-development. Of your steadfast efforts to embracing and concretizing femininity in yourself.

Now, I’d congratulate you in your “umama” but you won’t take it lightly because society has really taken time to incessantly clutter your mind and alter how you view things. And words.

Which shoves a chunk of cud into my mandibles again…

Did society also shove it to you that feminine qualities are less valuable than the direct, competitive, courageous and assertive qualities considered to be masculine?

There exists a female wired brain and a male wired brain… And just like we don’t get to choose the location of our protuberant pimples, we don’t get to choose what brain we pop into this world with. Biology does its very-many-things and with a lousy mood, it decides not to give you enough testosterone because it didn’t like the shape of your head, or you were taking too much space, or you were giving it too much work than it was accustomed to before your ever so sudden presence. I mean, it just blinked, and there you were!  A fertilized egg. A baby. A conceived human. Additional work .Hormone deliveries. Waste clearance…  And so, NO TESTOSTERONE FOR YOU!

But you began to seem somehow, just somehow, potentially adorable so it sprinkled a tinge of it… Not too much because your face didn’t earn it and your movements weren’t too pleasing, for it anyway.

So you ended up in a male body, with a brain that is partially feminine. Or in a female body with extreme femininity.

Similarly, it could bestow on you a boatload of testosterone. Which would in effect make a male too masculine and a female to possess a partially male-wired brain.

Some males end up with an entirely female-wired brain and vice versa and they identify as transsexual because they feel trapped in the wrong body, having interests and quintessential behaviors of the opposite gender.

Masculine and feminine behaviors are believed to be merely socially constructed. But they are actually biologically influenced. With the brain activity being monitored, a male-wired brain lights up colossally while reverse parking or reading 2D maps and creating a mental 3D picture of it as opposed to the few spots that light up in a female-wired brain while doing the same thing. 

You might have also wondered how the best English teachers have almost invariably been female. Or how easy it is to talk to a female psychologist. How they are able to meticulously and ever so naturally wind your haphazard slapdash mix of yarn into a neat almost palatable ball.

Everyone has a combination of masculine and feminine qualities. Every single day, we unconsciously aspire and work towards embodying and polishing feminine and masculine qualities to suit or better our male-wired and female-wired brains.

Like being alert and having the ability to run several parallel tasks-feminine, being good at spatial skills-masculine, being personal beings-feminine… just to mention but a few

I do understand why society is opposed to the evolved feminism… Because it claims much more than a similarity in the genders, which is on its own, very much spurious.

We are EQUAL but DIFFERENT. And Feminism fights for EQUALITY not SIMILARITY. Don’t let evolved feminism steal your femininity. Own it!

Read a couple more articles on Feminism written by Dorothy Orina:

  1. Pain demands to be felt. Which is more painful, a kick in the balls or childbirth?
  2. Little. Would you raise your child a feminist?
  3. Family over Career. Which should you choose?

To interact with Dorothy Orina and share your views on this article to about 1000 comrades, join us on the DeChat app. If you’re yet to download the app, you’re missing out. Click here to download it.


Author D_ottie

More posts by D_ottie

Join the discussion 267 Comments

Leave a Reply