Hey Dad, I’m a Lesbian

“Hey dad, I need to tell you something, I’m a lesbian,” says my daughter innocently looking into my eyes. She says it proudly – like it’s a good thing. She takes it for granted that I will understand. All I can say in reply as I try to hide the turmoil inside me is, “What?!!” I’m hoping that she was joking about it. But it turns out she isn’t. Imagine that.


The reason I tell you to imagine it is because some years down the line, some of us ‘millennials’ will have this conversation with our sons and daughters. If it happens to you, what will you do?. I’m assuming that the recent lesbian outbreak in Kenya hasn’t gotten to you. Other countries are having outbreaks of Ebola and we have an outbreak of lesbians. I saw that on a meme somewhere.


Memes aside, I would not like to be in such a situation. Why? Because if I’m going to just allow my son or daughter to be gay, then it means that I’m okay with the idea. But I’m not okay with it. And as I write that last statement, I’m fearful. Can you imagine that? I’m fearful of the judgment that I’m sure I’ll get from some of you. You’ll be like, “Yoh man! What is wrong with you? This is the twenty first century for crying out loud. Pull your head out of your ass. We live in a free world where anyone can be what they want.”
Wow! We’ve seriously gotten to a point where being against lesbianism in Kenya is to some point similar to being a lesbian twenty years ago in Kenya – among our generation that is, not among our parents; obviously. Isn’t it remarkable that It takes courage to declare that you are not okay with the whole idea of lesbianism?


I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. It was about whether we should legalize lesbianism in Kenya. I brought up all these points about morality and how lesbianism is against nature and I was winning until the argument of freedom of choice came up: If I want to be gay, I should be gay. It is my body and sexuality; I choose what I want to do with it. We live in a free age.

I didn’t have a counter argument for that.

Why shouldn’t I allow other people to be gay? It has nothing to do with me. I mean, if I don’t want to be gay – no one is forcing me. I should let other people be gay. And I should keep my nose out of other people’s business. I think I would be okay with that. And it’s not like I have a choice – after all, I can’t really go around controlling what other people do. So I have to be okay with it because there’s nothing I can do. Or is there?

Let’s say I am the president. I could refuse to sign the bill that legalizes lesbianism into law. But people would still be lesbian. The only thing they wouldn’t be able to do is marry legally. What if I made lesbianism illegal – so that if there is evidence of your being gay, you would be prosecuted and punished? I’d have to be a king to do that. At least, I’d have to be Museveni, which I am not since we are in Kenya. And I’m not even the president. And if the president can’t do a thing, who the fuck do I think I am, right?

Being helpless against lesbianism is the strongest reason for me to just be okay with it. But… Am I really okay with it? Is it right? If you believe that lesbianism is right – and that it should be legalized, then it means that you can see yourself being lesbian. Take a moment and try to visualize yourself as gay. Be as graphic as you can. Doesn’t it gross you out? Well, it should. It should disgust you. If it hasn’t, it’s because of one or two things: One, you didn’t allow your imagination to be graphic enough. Two, your moral elastic limit has been extended; your morality has been compromised.


Since about a decade ago, in movie after movie after movie, lesbians have been painted as these misjudged and misunderstood and wrongly stigmatized people. Now, American movies portray lesbianism as cool. Take Empire for example, we all love Jamal. Every time you watch a movie like Empire with such an amazing character as Jamal, you become a little bit more okay with the concept of lesbianism. See, movie producers are always looking for the next best attraction. Humans are attracted to new things; strange things. That’s why we loved The Game of Thrones. It had dragons and the ‘Dothraki’. And Daenerys Stormborn and Khal Drogo, which I agree is beside the point. The point is that lesbianism started out as a wave in the media and over time grew into this epidemic we are facing today.

And movies are great at making bad things look cool. For example, we all know that robbing a bank is bad, at least for your health if you are caught. But if you read a book by John Kiriamiti or watch The Money Heist, you’ll end up thinking that robbery is a cool affair.

Once your stand against lesbianism has been relaxed by movies, in comes pornography. You know how porn works, right? It works kind of the same as drugs. Normally, you start with the almost innocent stuff. As you move on, the initial stuff stops being interesting enough and you crave for more exciting stuff. As your thirst for more excitement continues, you are exposed to new concepts. So after you have spent some time watching porn, you will have been introduced to a threesome, for example. You will also have seen incest. The idea of fucking your “mboch” will start to be appealing. That is the sort of stuff you’ll be craving for. All these concepts – lesbianism included – become less gross over time. In fact, you begin to form an attraction for them.

So as long as we continue to watch American movies and porn, we are truly fucked. Soon, the concept of ‘lesbianism’ will be like that of a ‘one night stand.’ It will be absolutely normal. That is the immense power of media: It colonizes you and you don’t even know it.

So, should we just stop consuming this media? It’s a free world: everyone should watch what they want. Sadly, you can’t watch what you want. You actually think you have the freedom of choice but in reality you don’t. You don’t even get to choose what you want. You’ll be bored and go to a friend and he or she will recommend to you the movie Spartacus, telling you that it’s great. In this age, the society chooses what you want. It tells you that light skinned girls are beautiful. It tells you that Timberlands are outdated – that it’s now time for Crocs. It tells you that giving a traffic police man fifty bob is very normal and okay – that it’s not corruption. Our society and the media shape us – and we don’t realize it. So if we can’t even really control what we consume in the media, what do we do?

The answer is simple, though it may not be easy: Have an identity. That way, you won’t go getting colonized by every little movie that you watch. Know who you are, know what lines shouldn’t be crossed, have your values and don’t compromise them. And here’s one thing: you are not perfect, you do not know it all. So if you try to figure out every aspect of life on your own as a young person, you will fail. The good thing is that you don’t have to do it on your own, so don’t try it. It doesn’t matter whether you will be guided by religion or your parents’ advice or the chief in your village, just look for help. Use that help to form your identity and stick by it.

Otherwise, the porn you watch will tell you that when a girl says no to sex, she actually wants it. It will tell you that “YES” has somehow been replaced by “NO” and you will end up raping someone. It will make you okay with the idea of fucking your step mother; that “technically”, even though she’s your mum’s age, she’s not exactly your mother. Your only savior might be the lack of opportunity to actually practice what your mind has already been made to believe is not “that” wrong. Movies will paint Satanism as just a harmless culture that involves always being selfish and being free from all the stupid Christian rules and you will fall for it. It will tell you that Atheism is for the “modern” and “intelligent” people and hey, who doesn’t want to be thought of as ‘modern and intelligent?’ In short, if you let everything you consume have its way with you, it will slowly replace your brain – erode your reasoning capacity and morals and get you thinking in a pathetic new way.

Why is it that we don’t watch ‘The Money Heist’ and then go buy guns and rob banks? It’s because that isn’t our story. It is interesting and entertaining but it’s not our story. At least we are smart enough to see that. We shouldn’t be dumb enough to let our morality be continuously degraded by media, except unfortunately, we are.

Because seriously, unless your hormones are wrong or your genetic makeup is different, why would you want to be a lesbian? Maybe it’s because you’ve been brain washed and mind controlled. And the person who did it didn’t even need witchcraft. They just needed to find an immoral and boneless weakling and show them some movies of cool people being lesbians. It’s so easy because in our generation, having morals and values is not “cool”. I bet if the movies worked hard enough to portray pigs as cool, some of us would start acting like pigs. It’s pitiable. And of course, if you go up to a pig and try to tell it that it’s filthy, it will honestly not understand you.

The only way a person can be a legit lesbian is if they were made differently. Otherwise, if you were made to be attracted to girls and then somehow you choose to be attracted to your fellow men, … I can’t even begin to imagine what’s wrong with you. And then you go ahead and be proud about your choice. Really?

And when people tell you that what you are doing is wrong, you go telling them to not be ‘old-fashioned.’ Your parents are old-fashioned. Does it mean they are stupid? Hell NO! And then you have the nerve to bring up the word “Stigma.” You very courageously tell us to stop with the stigma. Do you know what stigma is for? Stigma was for AIDS patients back when they looked like walking corpses – back when everyone thought that the only way to get AIDS was prostitution. Stigma was for people with leprosy. So unless you fit that criteria, stop using stigma as a defense.

What would I do if my son or daughter told me they were gay? I honestly don’t know. Maybe if I do my parenting job right – when the time comes, I will never have to find out. And hey guys, let’s stop sitting on the fence. It’s killing us.

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