WHY? 22/08/2020

My name is Diana (a.k.a Dayana Sylus). I have experienced crisis in my life (health-wise, religious and even social) and this got me thinking that I am not the only one facing these challenges. It is with this thought that I decided to start writing these articles (not for competition or for payment) to inspire many others who have faced or are facing these challenges to stand tall and fight strongly. This is my first article and many others will come with your support. Let’s unite and help inspire those who have not yet gotten past their challenges. Let them know that despite the distance in separation, they are not alone. #onepeople,oneworld.
–Dayana Sylus

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With every smoke, there is fire and at the end of every day comes the night.
This is different for me. I don’t see the smoke in my life or sense the end of my days. Life has become meaningless as every day I wake up with no purpose. I don’t have a job to go to, a family to feed, a child to look after or even myself to care for. “Is it me or is it the world?” I’ve asked countless times. People are still succeeding (I think) but I am not moving an inch from my previous status, whether financially, academically, spiritually, health-wise or even in my love life. Am I stuck or is this my reality? Is it my fate? Am I the only one facing this challenge or there are others?

Every night before I close my eyes, I remember the previous night when I promised that I’d be a better person for me on this day. But guess what, I still make the same promise to myself that night again and probably in the next and the next nights to come.

Tired of motivation books? I am. Because all they teach is self-confidence, discipline and worst of all, dream big. Why the hell should I dream big when I have no bed to lie on in the first place? Good question, right?
Well yes, to me it is a good question (I don’t know about you).
So yes, I am stuck. You can call it teenage crisis if you like but truth is, I am stuck. This is the bitter truth that I have continuously denied for months as I lied to myself that I have it figured out but I have eventually come to term with it because it is a fact.

You know the good thing about accepting the truth that you have run away from for months? You strive to better it. To no longer be caged in your own den of deception. You strive to mold your life as you want it to be, not how you’ve been made to believe it is meant to be. (Sadly, not all of us strive to better their lives after discovering the truth. Instead, they give up and decide to go with the flow of the world. Wrong choice but it’s always up to you).

I know you’re wondering how you even start molding your life with the current situation you are in as a person and generally as a country. Well, I have the answer to that (in my version) but I won’t include it in this article but the next one.

If you want the continuation, vote by texting me via email (diananyawira.dn15@gmail .com) or via whatsapp or text (0759405472). My work is your choice. Feel free to leave your comments down below.
-Dayana Sylus

Other articles by First Years:

  1. First Year Chronicles by Deborah Wambui. Click here to read.
  2. I Try But Sometimes Bora Uhai by Iley. Click here to read.

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