Kuna Nyang’au Imenikulia Dem

*Silicon Editorial*

Ni Friday saa kumi na moja jioni. Mose na Willy wametoka CAT. Wamefika tu saa hizi kwa room. Willy anatoa key anaanza kufungua mlango. Anajaribu kufungua mara kadhaa alafu anasema, “Hii padi ikona ufala.” Mose anaketi. Hapo kando ya mlango tu. Kwa simiti. After kama dakika moja Willy anafungua na anaingia.

Mose anakaa hapo nje dakika ka mbili alafu finally anajiinua anaingia. Anakaa kama msee ameshinda shamba tangu morning. Anatoa viatu, anarudisha mlango alafu anajiangusha kama mawe kwa bed.

Willy anaangalia Mose anacheka. “Nini mbaya na wewe? Kwani CAT imekuonyesha aje?” Willy anamuuliza.

Mose anageuka anaangalia Willy na macho mbaya alafu anaamua kuketi. Anaclick alafu anasema, “Ata si CAT. Though pia CAT nilikuwa nje ka fuckin. Sikuwa najua shiet. Ispokuwa ni vile tulikuwa tumekaa wewe side moja na Nancy hio side ingine, mimi ningepata sufuri tu roho safi. Mmeniokolea bana.”

Willy anasema, “Si basi unafaa kuwa umechangamka. Leo ni Friday. Najua huwezi kosa fom mkiwa na Caro.”

Mose anacheka alafu anasema, “Baaas. Hapo sasa ndio shida iko. Mimi nimesare madem. Sitaki story zao. Nataka tu niende klabu nilewe kama ghasia, niibiwe simu, nipigepige wasee kadhaa alafu nibleki niamke next week.”

Willy anamuuliza, “Kwani Caro alikufanyia nini?”

Mose anaclick. “Kwanza usitaje hio jina tena.”

Wananyamaza. Willy anatoa simu anaingia WhatsApp anaanza kuona status.

“Caro alinicheat bana,” Mose anasema tu out of nowhere. Willy anaweka simu kando anaacha status zikijiona. “Ati?”

“Eee. Alafu huskii to make matters worse…” Mose anaacha kuongea. Anacheka ile kicheko ya uchungu alafu anaendelea, “To make matters worse unajua alinicheat na nani… Jeymoh.”

Willy anakunja uso. “Jeymoh mgani?”

“Hujui jamaa fulani ilikuwa inanyoa kama polisi tulikuwa tunacheza ruji nayo?” Mose anauliza.

“Zi.”

“Ashai kuja huku wakiwa na hiyo mbogi yetu ya ruji. Kalikuwa kajamaa kafupi kuniliko kameunga lakini si sana. Humkumbuki?” Mose anasema. Before Willy ajibu Mose anaendelea, “But aliacha kucheza last year ata. Anyway, huyo ndiye jamaa alinikulia dem. Jamaa tumecheza na yeye for two years. Two years!! Karibu nimuuue bana.”

“Kuwa serious. Ati karibu umuue?” Willy anauliza.

“Ai. Eee. Unaona hii alama nikonayo kwa uso si nilikuambia nimeumia tukicheza ruji. Ni ngumi ya Jeymoh hiyo. Lakini na yeye niliharibu uso yake kabisa. Ukimuona saa hii utamhurumia.” Mose anacheka kiasi alafu anaendelea, “Imagine jamaa naenda kumcomfront alafu anasema yeye hana makosa juu pia dem alikuwa anataka. Nakuambia ispokuwa ni majamaa walikuwa karibu walituachanisha, ningekuwa jela saa hii nikiwa nimeua hiyo fala. Ati hana makosa! Na ananiangalia kwa macho akisema hivo. Hana aibu ata kidogo.”

“Caro alisema aje kuhusu hiyo story?” Willy anamuuliza.

“Saa angesema aje? Ata sikuwa namskiza. Nilikuwa namuangalia hivi naskia kumgongesha kwa ukuta,” Mose anasema akiwa amejam.

“Ulimuuliza mbona alicheat?” Willy anauliza.

Mose ananyamaza.

Willy anachukua simu anapata status zilikuwa zinajiona na saa hiyo kuna chats kadhaa hajareply. “Fuck!”

“Ati Caro na huyo boy wametoka mtaa moja na ati kuna time walikuwa wanadate nahuko first year alafu wakaachana. Sasa huskii Caro ananiambia ati, ‘Tulianza kuongea alafu it just happened.’” Mose ananyamaza.

“Wah. Iza bro. Sasa mmeachana?” Willy anauliza.

“Kuachana ama sitaki kuwai muona tena?” Mose anasema alafu anajiangusha tena kwa bed. “Mimi nataka tu nilewe kabisa nijisahau. Ata ispokuwa ni hiyo CAT saa hii singekuwa sober.”

Willy anaanza kucheka. Mose anaamka anamuangalia. “Nini inakuchekesha?” Mose anamuuliza.

“Ni vile sisi wote wawili hatuna dem. Mimi at least naweza laumu sura yangu kiatu. Lakini sasa wewe na vile madem wote hukuwa wamekukufia, alafu sasa ndio huyo wewe umecheatiwa… Usinipige lakini hio kitu ni funny,” Willy anasema alafu anaendelea kucheka. Anaanguka kwa bed bado akicheka. Mose anamuangalia tu.

“Ukimaliza kucheka uniambie,” Mose anasema.

Willy anakaa straight kwa bed alafu anasema, “Pole bro. Aki si wewe nachekelea. Ni hii situation. Lakini wacha niache kucheka. Nitacheka saa yenye hauko.”

“We ni mjinga sana by the way. Nani alikuambia madem huangalia sura?” Mose anauliza.

“Si wanaangalianga sura. Ata kama kuna factor zingine kama pesa, wanaangalianga sura bado,” Willy anajibu.

Mose anacheka alafu anasema, “Ngai! Willy wetu tutakusaidia aje? Madem hawaangaliangi sura.”

Willy anasema, “Of course utasema hivo juu wewe unakaa Chris Brown.”

Mose anaclick alafu anasema, “Haya. Si umesema nakaa Chris Brown. Basi niambie mbona Caro alinicheat? Ukiweza ona huyo Jeymoh tunasema…. huyo saa ndio definition ya sura kiatu. Huyo ata ni gumboot time ya mvua. Okay, wacha niache kuexaggerate. Lakini si ati ni msee wasichana wanaeza endea juu ya sura.”

Willy anasema, “Si maybe d game yake iko juu tu sana.”

Mose anasema, “Unajua ispokuwa ni vile umeniokolea kwa CAT naweza kupiga ngumi uzirai. Lakini hio sector nayo nakuwanga nimejiaminia kabisa. Naweza kupea hadi references uende ukaskie sifa zangu.”

Wananyamaza.

Mose anaanza kucheka. Anasema, “Ni turn yangu kukuchekelea. Unajua wewe ata kama ungekuwa baller bado hungekuwa na dem.” Mose anacheka akiwa amejitolea yake yote.

“Mbona?” Willy anauliza.

“Mi sijui. Mbona huna dem saa hii? Na usiniambie sura juu ata hakuna haja ya kuenda mbali. Angalia Denno mwenye anaishi ile nyumba iko karibu na gate. Tuongee tu ukweli. Denno hana sura. Lakini amekuwa na madem wangapi tangu tukuje? Hii sem pekee na hatujaimaliza amekuwa na watatu. Na si ati akona pesa. Sasa wewe utalaumu nini?”

Mose ananyamaza ndio Willy ajibu. Willy anafungua mdomo kuongea lakini anakosa cha kusema.

“Sa si unaona? Na ati unakuwanga chopi.” Mose anasema alafu anacheka. Anaacha kucheka alafu anaendelea, “Haya… Si kama ungeulizwa ungetaka dem kama Caro, sindio?”

Willy anaanza kujibu alafu ananyamaza.

“Sitakupiga. Nataka kumake point,” Mose anasema.

“Siwezi taka Caro. Lakini ningetaka dem anakaa Caro juu enyewe Caro ni mrembo,” Willy anasema.

Mose anamuambia, “Unaona ujinga yako. Unaonanga mambo na perspective moja tu. Ya urembo. Lakini ukweli ni ati kuna perspective mingi. Mingi sana actually. Mmh? Unasema ati wewe huna sura na mimi niko nayo. Sawa basi. Wewe ni chopi na mimi ni danda. Tumesema tunaongea ukweli. Hio CAT ata kama ningesomea aje, singerada. Nilikuwa sawa introduction tukianza sem. Lakini tangu tuanze kuambiwa as the limit approaches zero – hio saa ni nini kuongea ukweli?”

Willy anaanza kujibu lakini ananyamazishwa na Mose, “Nugu hii sijakuambia unijibu. Point yangu ni… unaona kama mimi ningekuwa nazurura nikijiambia mimi ni danda wa masomo, ata singekuwa naongea watu wengine wakiongea. For example, kama saa hii ningetoa wapi courage ya kukunyamazisha nikuambie vile nafikiria? Na saa hiyo maybe utapata 30 out of 30 kwa CAT na mimi nipate 11, na ni za kuibia. Ningetoa wapi hiyo nguvu? Sa si unaona wewe ni mjinga?” Mose anaendelea kucheka. Alafu kidogo kidogo anaendelea, “Bado hujaamini wewe ni mjinga? Aiyaiya. Niendelee?”

Willy anamuambia, “Nimeona point yako. Hufai kujiita danda by the way. Hio reasoning ni ya level ya juu sana.”

“Unaona? Imagine sasa kama ningekuwa najipea identity na marks zangu za CAT. Ningekuwa nishajiua kitambo. Pia wewe unafaa uchange bana. Kama unataka dem tafuta dem. Weka effort kama wale wanaume wengine. Kuna kitu nilisoma place: If you let your insecurities define you, people will see nothing but your insecurities.” Mose anasema.

Kidogo kidogo anaendelea, “Baas. Nimepata the perfect example. Si unajua Sonnie – mwenye anaishi hii plot next?”

“Eee namjua,” Willy anasema.

“Haya. Unajua Mary? Mwenye anaishi ile block iko just next to the cafe?” Mose anauliza. “Zi,” Willy anajibu. “Humjui? Dem mwenye anaishi kwa hiyo nyumba iko karibu na bafu?”

“Zi. Simkumbuki,” Willy anasema.

“Kadem fulani kafupi kanono kanakujanga…”

Willy anaminterrupt, “Oooh. Nimekaona. Anaitwa Mary?”

“Sa unaona. Ukifikiria kuhusu Sonnie kitu ya kwanza kukuja kwa akili yako ni vile anakuwanga mfunny na vile anapikanga chakula tamu… vile maneighbor wake hutuambia vile anapigishangwa nduru na boy wake usiku… the last thing utafikiria ni ati ni mnono. Lakini kuongea ukweli ni mnono kabisa. Haya… kuja kwa Mary. Mary kenye tu tunajua kumhusu ni ati ni mnono na hasilimiangi watu. Ata jina yake hukuwa unajua.” Mose anasema.

“Sawa basi, sawa basi, sawa basi! Nimeskia. Si ulisema unataka kulewa? Toka tuende Prestige kabla waanze kulipisha entrance fee. Unajua niliskia Mbogi Genje wanakam leo.”

Feel free to leave your comments at the bottom of the page. Do you like the experience of reading in the same language as the one in which you speak?

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