Political Drama in Kimathi Intensifies

***The Whisperer***

Drama… Drama… Drama. That’s what is in store for us until the elections are concluded next week on Friday. Most of the students in Kimathi are ignorant of what is going on behind the scenes. They don’t get to enjoy the juicy drama that is unfolding. Well, I’m here to change that. I’ll be updating you – the general ignorant public – on what is going on behind the political scenes. Prepare to be entertained.

To start with, two students are set to appear before the Senate due to activities they’ve been involved in during this political period. If found guilty, these students face up to 1000 academic days of suspension. Why are they appearing before the Senate?

For now, I’ll give you the story of the first student, Mwaura Wakati. Stay tuned for the other student’s story – I promise you it’s juicy. Mwaura is alleged to have used tribal incitation in politics – a crime which the school appears to take seriously. A screenshot of this incitation has been circulating around social media and is displayed below.

When I first read it, I was incensed, enraged and infuriated – all the big words you can think that relate to anger. Tribal politics just isn’t cool, especially not when it’s done in such a crude way. I thought to myself – how moronic and primitive is this guy? Si angalau afiche white?

I promised you drama, right? Here it goes. I met this guy who doesn’t seem to think Mwaura is guilty. Here is his reasoning: On WhatsApp, you can save someone as “John” even though in reality, that person’s name is “Mary.” I know it’s true because I’ve saved a side chick of mine called “Kate” as “Kinyozi.” Anyway, this guy’s reasoning is that I can save someone as “Mwaura Wakati” even though their real name is “Kajwang” or “Kiprotich.” I can then ask Kajwang to send an incriminating message to a WhatsApp group, screenshot this message, spread it all over social media and get Mwaura Wakati in trouble with the school administration.

It sounds like quite a bit of trouble to go to, right? So I asked this guy why someone would go to all that trouble. He smiled and said, “Hii ni politics babaa. You’ve heard that politics is a dirty game? This is how dirty it is.He then told me, “You’ve posted a lot of shiton WhatsApp. Kwanza we nakujua hadi you’ve incited wasee wagome. How come hujawai itwa Senate? This is a game. There are people who made sure that this thing will get to the authorities. Do you know why? Mwaura is one of the chief political figures and strategists wa hii side ingine. They had to find a way to neutralize him.”  

Being the naïve Kimathi comrade that I am – who doesn’t even plan to be around school during elections – I asked him, “Kwani there are sides?” This guy looked at me and pitied me. But I got him into a hotel and bought him chapo mix after which he willingly and patiently explained the current political situation to me. So it turns out that there are sides and there is a lot of rivalry between the two sides, details of which I may be revealing to you soon.

After speaking to this guy, I wasn’t sure what to believe. And then I met a guy from the other side. I asked him what he thinks about tribalism in Kimathi politics. He told me that it’s there and it won’t end soon. He even narrated a shockingly crude tactic that his side used last time to get into power. I had written it here but my editor made me remove it since there was no evidence to support it. Wish me luck. If I find the evidence, I’m going to have the story of stories for you. How do I know it will be a good story? Because some people somewhere would be very pissed off about it.

Anyway, since I’m not sure of Mwaura’s innocence or guilt, I don’t even know whether to wish him well in his senate trial.

In other dramatic news, there was a commotion last Friday at the Electoral Commission of Kimathi offices. The deadline for submission of papers for the election candidates was at 5 pm. By that time, some candidates had not submitted their papers, yet an extension was provided for them. Obviously, some people were not pleased with this and saw it as a sign of bias by the commission. That’s where all the drama started. It was very nearly a fist fight and the senior security officer had to intervene. Even the VC was involved in the saga and wasn’t happy about it. He is reported to have been in search of photo evidence which could be used to prove the guilt of the individuals involved in the fracas and discipline them accordingly.

Dear readers, it is going to be an entertaining period. Grab some popcorn and don’t touch that dial – okay, stay tuned.

If you have any thing to say about this, maybe some new info to bring to light, or some clarification to make, or just a complaint, consider joining our chat room where you can air your opinions anonymously and no one will know your real identity. Just tap on that chat icon at the bottom of your smartphone screen. It’s like a whatsapp group that can accommodate everyone in Kimathi. Cool, right?

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