Spanking

Spanking.

Do you know the way I can just walk up to you in public – even though you and I have never met – and tap your shoulder? There are people who treat spanking in the same way.

Is that okay?

Whether or not it’s okay, it happens. Girls are spanked by strange men in public.

Some men think it’s okay to just walk up to a girl in public and spank them. They think it’s flattering. But it turns out that most girls don’t consider it flattering.

There is obviously a disconnect, which I aim to eradicate. So I invited comments on this topic on various DekuTrends platforms.

Before I move on, it was brought to my attention that ladies don’t appreciate this discussion. One of them says and I quote,

“I think you are not doing right by asking the molesters this question. Give me a lady who says that she likes being spanked by any man and I will listen to you otherwise it’s all bullshit. It’s like telling rapists to justify their action.”

I therefore understand that ladies may not see the point of this article. However, I feel that it is my duty to ensure that my fellow men look at this issue from every point of view.

Anyway, here is my first finding: According to most respondents, spanking can be either good or bad. It depends on context: Who is spanking you? Do they know whether you are okay with being spanked? Have they given you their consent?

A good number of men are of the opinion that without consent, spanking is wrong. One of the respondents – Lewii – says,

“I think spanking is not respectful to women but in the case that a girl is okay with you spanking her, it is fine. However, doing it to some random girl is not good and is not respectful at all. And if I was a girl and any man did that to me, I would slap him at that instance. I remember in high school in the music festivals, girls would fear to pass among a crowd of boys just because they would be spanked. This clearly shows that women don’t like this behavior at all unless a girl has given you the permission.”

It is obvious to most people that spanking without consent is wrong. However, some men seem to think otherwise.

A certain male respondent said, “Spanking is only but a channel to navigate your appreciation to the heart of any lady… provided the beauty is valid.”

On asking him to elaborate, he said,

“I seek men’s indulgence and protection here. Unlike before, men don’t fall in love with ladies for what they have inside them but they love what they see… since men’s appetite continues to overlap the genuine desires. They have now gone to an extent of trying to get the physical taste of engaging not only their eyes but involving the work of their hands in the matter. I agree that since the day men discovered a certain amazing sensation when their hands are on their ladies’ personal apartments, they converted it as the channel to navigate their appreciation to the ladies’ heart maybe to prove that her beauty is valid.”

To the opinion expressed above, Sharon says,

“I think a woman’s body (actually anyone’s body) is their own property. You can’t go touching things that aren’t yours – that’s a violation. Women don’t find it flattering at all. It means someone’s touched you without permission because they don’t respect your boundaries. And it’s never about how women dress. It’s just foolishness in men. Today it’s a spank, tomorrow it’s rape.”

Another girl – Wairimu – says,

“It’s not right. Unless the two of you have an understanding and consent too. If someone spanked me, unajua ile aibu mtu alikua anafeel akichunwa cheeks akiwa mdogo? It’s like all of a sudden you become so aware of your cheeks, hivo ndivo naeza feel. Then I would feel like my innocence has left me. It’s not funny. And it’s not okay. Ata kama ni a person you are dating, ask them if they are comfortable with it.”

There are also some men who think that cat calls and spanking are a way of appreciating a girl’s beauty and getting her to like you as a man.

In response to this notion, Ndegwa says,

“Personally, I think catcalling and spanking are harassment and they don’t help in making a girl like you. The best ni kumuapproach na kujitetea kimwanaume. On the other hand, if she is your girl, you can spank that ass if she’s cool with it. Many girls like it though, but only when done by people they have given consent.”

From the above response, it is clear that with consent, some people consider spanking fun for both parties. This is supported by one female respondent who says,

“I think spanking can happen in different forms. One form can be degrading ie where maybe you’re in public or you don’t feel comfortable with whoever is spanking you. But on the other hand, there is the spanking for fun or pleasure that both parties are comfortable with.”

Then comes the question of spanking in public. Even if done with consent, is it right to do it in public?

To this question, Khalifa responds,

“I really don’t see spanking as a way of appreciating women. It really sucks when I see a guy doing that. I think it shouldn’t be done in public if you have to. Mi msee akispank dame nikiwa na maybe ni new catch huwa naboeka sana.”

And to sum it up, Xxerxes says,

“I asked some ladies and they find spanking in public 1% flattering and 99% offensive. Most don’t mind cat calls because they never even respond to them. Plus, if you want to appreciate a lady, there are better ways of doing it.”

I think the most important lesson to learn here is: It is not okay to spank a girl without her consent. If you thought it was flattering, I hope you have seen that it’s not. It is a degrading invasion of privacy that men shouldn’t have to put ladies through.  

If you’re a DeKUT comrade and you have something to say about this topic, you can make a post on DeChat. If you are yet to download the DeChat App, click here to get in on PlayStore and join close to 1000 comrades.