*Stephen Muchiri*

A friend of mine recently narrated a story to me that made me laugh till my ribs hurt, and I think that it is worthwhile for me to share the story with you. Funny as it is, there is some truth in it.

The story is that of a man who had three girlfriends, whom he loved very much. Don’t ask me how he loved three women, with men it’s quite possible, unlike this other gender that tricked us into eating the forbidden fruit. Some say Eve was framed, but that is a discussion for some other time. Anyway, I'm not a chauvinist - I'm just laying down the facts. Back to the story.

A time came for the man to make a decision on who he should marry among the three. To solve this problem, he came up with an ingenious plan. To each of them, he gave kshs 50,000, then decided to assess the three based on how they will make use of the money.

The first went to a boutique and bought expensive clothes, then went to a beauty parlor with an intention of looking good. When the man asked why she had done this, she answered him that she wanted to look beautiful for him. The man was elated at the fact that she just wanted to see him happy.

The second woman went to a boutique and bought fancy clothes and shoes for the man. When asked why she spent all her money in such a manner, she said that she wanted her man to look good because she loved him very much. The man was impressed. He was happy that someone actually cared about him, or so he thought.

The last woman took all her kshs 50,000 and invested it in forex trading. She made a total of kshs 200,000. From her earnings, she took kshs 50,000 and returned it to the man, thanking him for providing capital for her to make some form of livelihood. Obviously, the man was very impressed. He had to make a decision on who to marry among the three, and it wasn’t going to be an easy one.

After one week of intense thinking. The man made a somewhat irrational decision. He chose to marry the woman with the largest ‘mata- core.’

Interesting, right? After all, men will always be men. To be honest, I can’t blame him, because I have been forced to make similar decisions all too often. Don’t judge me, you are probably worse.

Well, you can deduce the moral of the story yourself. Let’s take a look into some of the things women think men like, yet we don’t even give a damn about.

1.Devilish eyelashes
In as much as eyelashes add to the beauty associated with a woman’s physical appearance, the idea of ‘painting’ your eyelashes to resemble some sort of cultic affiliation is misguided. Such eyelashes just point out one thing - you are insecure!
For as long as I have lived, I have never heard of a man who fell for a woman as a result of their eyelashes. Ladies, please, I want you to know that you actually scare us. You piss us off to be precise.

2.The phrase ‘I know’
Most men will agree with me that this phrase makes us angry with women. Ladies, come to think of it, what was the point of the man telling whatever it is he said to you if he fathoms you already ‘know’. In my own opinion, y’all who use this phrase are just the worst. And to the men who use this term- MUACHE UMAMA!

Okie dokie, these are not the only things that most men hate. But I am damn sure that they are on top of the list. Others include stingy women, overly religious women - fanatics to be precise and women who do not take care of their general cleanliness especially those of you with a bad breath. It’s a disease, and a dentist could very well diagnose you with halitosis.

Ladies, just be yourselves. Just remember something. Good boys help you navigate your way into ‘heaven’ but bad boys bring the ‘heaven’ right where you are. ‘Heaven’ here has been used metaphorically - take note. It’s your choice, force your way into happiness or let happiness find you.

Let me pen off by sending a message to all the men out there. There is more to women than the size of their ‘mata- core.’ Choose brains not BBs(Butts and Boobs). On the more, please stop killing your ‘monkeys.’ You need them. Anyway, am out of here! Bye!

Well, enough of the gossip! Let me know what you think about this article on my Dechat wall @Steveciso or through any of my social media platforms- Stephenmuchirikinyua. Twitter @muchiriwakinyua.
Thanks for your time! See you next week with another lit article like this one.

©Stephen Muchiri Kinyua_2020_All Rights Reserved.

Read other stories on the Lets Talk About It section:

The Hymen as Proof of Virginity in Women by Stephen Muchiri.
Virginity and Gender by Marvel Lio.

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