Look Your Best For Less

*Stephen Muchiri*


I will not simply assume that everyone practically understands what the hymen is, nor will I assume that those of us who have an idea know all there is to know about it. As a preamble, let me begin by explaining in layman’s language what the hymen is.

The hymen is basically a thin piece of mucosal tissue that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia in females, and is similar in structure to the vagina and has a lot of nerve endings.

Okay. Enough of the science! This isn’t a Biology class. Is the hymen proof of virginity?

The best and most reliable proof of virginity is through a virginity test. A doctor performs the test by inserting a finger into the female’s vagina to check the level of vaginal laxity, which is used to determine if she is “habituated to sexual intercourse.” The state of the hymen is therefore not a reliable indicator of virginity.

To all ladies out there, you don’t actually have to tell someone if you are a virgin. You don’t have to tell someone you aren’t a virgin either. To all men, if you are curious whether your girlfriend, partner or fiancé is a virgin, the solution is simple – ASK THEM!

Some communities have been known to use the hymen as proof of virginity through the white bedsheet test. White sheets and linen are used to test whether the bride has been ‘pure’ till the wedding night or not while no such test exists to test the virginity of the groom. According to the custom, the groom has to go in the bedroom with a white sheet and come out with red stains on it. In my opinion, this is simply unfair, mediocre and retrogressive.

It is scientifically proven that some people can be born with so little hymeneal tissues that it seems like they don’t have a hymen at all. Interesting, right? Truth be told, that doesn’t disqualify them as virgins.

It is also important to note that penetrative sex is not the only way in which the hymen can be broken. Here are a few activities that can contribute to the same: Biking, horseback riding, gymnastics as well as inserting a tampon or other objects into the vagina.

Can the hymen break twice? Most people believe that the hymen is torn once, and that’s it. Well, I’m sorry to inform you, if at all you belong to this group of people, that this is a myth. It is common and normal for a female to see the bleeding not just for the first time they have penetrative sex, but the first few times.

It is important to note that the hymen cannot grow back as it is just stretched and torn tissue without the ability to regenerate. However, minor injuries to the hymen, such as those associated with inserting tampons and exercise, may heal without any visible signs of previous injury.

Can a girl not bleed if she is a virgin? If a woman doesn’t have any bleeding in her first sexual intercourse, does it mean that she is not a virgin? Here is the answer to that question: Some women experience bleeding the first time they have sex, and some don’t plus some women are just born with very little hymeneal tissues to begin with. Both are perfectly normal.

In a nutshell, having a hymen and being a virgin are two different things. Take care not to mistake one for the other.
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©Stephen Muchiri Kinyua_2020_All Rights Reserved.

*If you’re a Kimathian, bring some tea and let’s continue this convo on the DeChat app We can’t wait to see what comrades will say about this and other topics that we supposedly shouldn’t talk about. Use the hashtag #letstalkaboutit on your post. Steve will be there under the username Stevecisco to answer your questions and take suggestions on what topic he should address next. If you think you can write a similar article, just reach out on DeChat with the hashtag and we’ll find you*


Author Stevecisco

Freelance Writer, Photographer, Author

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