Silicon Editorial

The Secret To Life

By May 31, 2020 5 Comments
War and Peace is one of the biggest books in the world. It also contains valuable wisdom.

Why?

Why has Manchester United not won the Premier League in the last 9 years? Why does Claire love Brayo and not Peter? Why did that woman cheat on her husband? Why did a white man kill a black man in the land of freedom? Why did the black protestors destroy the property of their fellow blacks in the riot? Why do the Kalenjin and the Kikuyu kill each other during elections? Why do they live peacefully when there are no elections? Why do Kenyans continuously make clearly idiotic decisions at the ballot box? Why does your crush not want you?

The truth is simply what you believe to be true. To a small child, the calculation 1 – 2 is impossible and that is true to the child. To you who is now in campus, the answer to that calculation is -1 and that is your truth.

The above paragraph is a disclaimer. I, as the author of this article, do not know the absolute truth. For me or any other human being to know the truth, I would have to know everything. Sadly, I don’t.

Triple distilled vodka by Keroche Breweries. I hear it’s better than the regular vodka. Why is the government fighting Keroche Breweries? Only the government and Madam Tabitha know. But if she tells us that the government is fighting her because she is a Kenyan who is making more money than she should be, why should we not believe her and curse our god-forsaken government?

This article is an attempt to distill the knowledge in one of the largest books ever written. I’ll attempt to take the ideas that Leo Tolstoy expressed in War and Peace, which is half a million words long, and present those ideas to you in about a thousand words.

Why am I doing that?

I wish I could say it’s because I want to change you; maybe make you a Christian if you were an atheist or make you read books because they have very valuable knowledge. But I realize that I can’t change you. If you don’t believe in God, there are hundreds of reasons for that, which have accumulated ever since you were born: Your parents, your village, the books you read, the movies you watch, the sermons you have listened to, the experiences you have had with Christians, the freedom that being an atheist gives you et cetera. One article is not enough to change all that.

Since I can’t change you, I’m doing this for fun. And since I’m a good person, I’m doing this because it might make you live a happier life.

Y = mx + c

I’m hoping that no matter what you scored in calculus, you remember seeing the above equation. Don’t worry. I’m not interested in boring you to early menopause with mathematics. I just want us to try to answer these two questions: Why did Karis die in a road accident and why did the relationship between Mutiso and Mwende not work out?

Karis was hit by a vehicle and about half an hour later, he was dead. It was at noon so he could clearly see. Karis had been crossing that road for the last one year, almost every day – he was a pro. It was a highway but there were bumps which had been installed some months earlier after residents rioted. The driver had been drinking every day since he got married but on that day, he was as sober as a judge. His vehicle was in perfect condition. In fact, he applied the brakes and they were very effective. But in those few seconds it took the vehicle to stop, Karis had been hit. It so happened that an ambulance was passing there and Karis was rushed to hospital and got there in about ten minutes. However, he still died. Karis was 18 years old and there was no one healthier in his village. He was a Christian and had started his day with a prayer as he did every morning.

Mutiso loved Mwende. Mwende loved Mutiso. Mutiso did everything he could for their relationship. So did Mwende. Mutiso stopped going out with his friends to parties. But he still ensured that he got quality time alone because he read on a blog that it was healthy for the relationship. He cut off ties with his numerous female “best friends.” Mwende changed her identity and became what she thought Mutiso wanted. She dressed differently, she acquired new friends and she began to go to church because she really wanted this relationship to work. For some time, they were in a little heaven of their own. They thought they would live happily ever after. They would name their two kids Amber Rose and Dylan.

Lakini shetani ni nani?

One day, Mutiso’s brother came to visit. Mwende suggested that the two should go out and have fun. So they did. Mutiso, after taking a couple of shots, became the life of the party. When Kyalo – his brother – picked up a girl and left in a taxi to God knows where, Mutiso decided that he should go home. But he would dance to a couple more songs before going. And then a girl came up to him. She was not very beautiful. She was not even the sexiest Mutiso had seen. But there was something about her.

He ended up banging her in a hotel room. His life was ruined. He who would have become an engineer ended up being a pitiable and depressed matatu conductor and an incurable alcoholic. She is now forty years old with no family. She devotes all her time to church, charity and her career as a nurse. She tells everyone that she is very happy in the Lord and since we have no more information, let us assume that she is happy.  

Let’s assume that everything Mutiso did is ‘m’ and that everything Mwende did for their relationship is ‘x.’ As humans, they could not have done more. Their relationship should have succeeded.

But there was another factor because y = mx + c. It’s called the ‘c’ factor and it’s a bitch or an angel depending on its mood and whether or not it likes you. In short, it’s not possible for humans to understand the ‘c’ factor. Christians call the ‘c’ factor God. Non-Christians either do not acknowledge it or call it fate.

Stupid people think that they can control the ‘c’ factor. Have you heard those pitiable characters who claim that their destiny is in their hands? In that group, we have a certain band of Christians who believe that God exists to serve their needs. They believe that if they want money, then all they have to do is command God, through prayer in faith, and that the money will appear.

My truth is that if God wants you to have money, whether you fast and pray for poverty, you will have money. And vice versa.

But we are all humans and the truth is what you choose to believe.

If you pray for your dying mom to be healed and she dies, it is not because you don’t have enough faith. It is simply because of the ‘c’ factor. God is not fair. Okay, so that I am accommodative, let me call it the ‘c’ factor.

The ‘c’ factor is not fair. It’s just there; all powerful and beyond our understanding. Which is why Karis died.

Human beings cannot go against the ‘c’ factor. Which is why poor Mwende and Mutiso didn’t work out.

I promised you the secret to life, didn’t I? Well, here it is:

Messi is not the best player in the world because of anything he did. Of course he is talented(m), just like numerous other footballers. Of course he works hard(x), maybe even less than other footballers.

But y = mx + c.

He is where he is because the ‘c’ factor, for reasons beyond our comprehension, thought it would be a good idea. Therefore, if you are Messi, be humble.

Judas betrayed Jesus. You would think that a human who personally knew Jesus for years would have no choice but to be good and would have his balls cut off before betraying him. Like, duh, it’s Jesus, the son of God. We also see that Judas later felt guilty and committed suicide, meaning that if he had a choice, he would not have betrayed Jesus. But the thing is, he had no choice, a fact which the Biblical prophecy regarding the field of blood confirms. The ‘c’ factor thought it would be funny and would make for a good story if one of Jesus’ disciples – named Judas – betrayed him. Therefore, if you are Judas, don’t beat yourself up too much.

Messi has contributed maybe 30% to be where he is. Just as Judas contributed a certain small percentage to his decision of selling Jesus. In the same way, Mwende and Mutiso contributed a certain percentage to the performance of their relationship. The rest is up to the ‘c’ factor.

But it’s very important that we, as humans, play our part. Not because there is any hope that we will change anything but because it is good for our sanity to know that we did everything we could.

Messi should be humble because he didn’t place himself there. In the same way, Mwende and Mutiso should not blame themselves and neither should Judas.

And that, my dear readers, is the secret to life:

why = mx + c.

Wait a minute. After reading my own article, I’m tempted to believe that why = c.

But for the sake of my sanity, I need to believe that my actions have more significance than those of a pig, so my truth is that why = mx + c.

What’s your truth? You can share you view on this debate on the DeChat App for comrades using the hashtag #SiliconEditorial. On the app, you can also interact with me and other DekuTrends writers and connect to close to 1000 DeKUT comrades. You’re missing out if you don’t have the app. Click here to download it.

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Here are a couple more excellent articles by DekuTrends writers:

  1. Jobs are Sexist Too by Douglas Mwangi.
  2. Pain Demands To be Felt by Dorothy Orina in Feminism Friday. Is it a kick to the nuts or child birth that is more painful?
  3. Virginity, Sex and Gender by Marvel Lio.
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