It’s not always black and white…
Here’s how life in black and white looks like: Kikuyus are thieves because they love money to a fault. Kambas are witches. Luos… well, they’re a proud lot – they place too much value on material possession and live extravagantly even if it’s not sustainable. Merus… they’ll kill you in the middle of a pillow fight – they have legendary temper… blah blah blah… you know those stereotypes.
Are the above statements true? Yes, to a certain extent. But they are also false… to a certain extent. You’ll find a Kikuyu who would kill for money. But you’ll also find a Kamba who doesn’t know the first thing about witchcraft. My point?
Life is not in black and white. There are numerous shades in between. Some white people think we are trash. Others think the only difference between us and them is our skin color. If you approach every white person as if they think you are an ape, you’ll be making a huge mistake. But if you also think that all white people see blacks as their equals, you’ll be in for a rude shock. Life is not in black and white.
So a couple of weeks ago, in this article, titled Hey Dad I’m A Lesbian, I’m presented with a question – What would I do if my son or daughter came up to me in future and told me they were lesbian? Would I be okay with it? Would I be supportive? Would I find exorcists and prophets to cast out the demon in my child? Would I beat them till they became straight?
To answer the above questions, I first had to determine whether I’m okay with lesbianism, which is what I attempted to do in the article. See what I did there? I put myself in a black and white situation: is lesbianism right or wrong?
It’s like meeting a really beautiful Kamba girl and then reasoning: Kambas are witches. I don’t want to be associated with witchcraft. So, for no other reason apart from this girl being Kamba, I won’t have anything to do with her. Of course, it’s possible that the girl could be a reincarnation of Syokimau. But it’s also entirely possible that you know more about witchcraft than she does. The point is: when you stereotype things and people and act from a black and white perspective, you are taking the shortcut and you will probably end up regretting it.
What did I end up doing with the lesbianism thing? I ended up concluding that if my son or daughter ever came up to me and told me they were lesbian, I would have failed as a parent. Well, it’s what I implied.
I also very properly blamed it all on western influence: porn, movies and what have you. I only made a very slight allowance for it being natural. In so doing, I blinded myself to a huge part of the story, which is such a pity… and wrong, right?
Afterwards, I got to see this vlog below by Xtian Dela.
Watching this video enabled me to interact to some extent with these individuals who I was busy calling wrong. You can probably picture me watching the video and trying to find evidence to support my view that lesbianism is just wrong. As I watched, it got me thinking…
One of the guys on that set had a bra-like apparatus on his upper body – which he called a crop top. He also had a weave and lipstick on. And that was my Eureka moment. I mean, what sort of drugs would make me do that unless it’s how I was born? Western culture could relax my morals and introduce ideas into my head but it honestly couldn’t make me… it couldn’t make me be a girl. Or maybe it could. We’ve agreed that things aren’t black and white.
The point is I was moronic in assigning all people who are of uncommon gender orientation a label and judging them. Maybe there’s someone who is lesbian or bi-sexual simply for pleasure. That is immoral. It is the stuff of Sodom and Gomorrah. But there’s also probably someone who was made that way.
One of the things that helped convince me is this: On being asked about her relationship with God, one of Xtian’s guest – a lesbian stud – said that not only is her relationship with God okay but that it is strong. It’s strong because she depends on God to help her deal with all the judgment being dished out by righteous people out there – like me before I knew better. I’m a Christian and I know that when I sin – I cannot go basking in the glory of my sin and saying that I’m okay with God.
But hey, with the end times being so close and all that, it is entirely possible that people have learned to believe that certain acts that should be sinful are not – in short, they have hacked their consciences. The Bible does say that they shall have eyes and not see and that they shall hear but not comprehend.
The point… is that it’s never in black and white. It’s impulsive to want to deal with new things from a black and white point of view. It’s as a result of evolution. To survive, humans had to learn to instantly know whether something is good or bad for them. However, we can control that impulse. We must control it – especially where the welfare of fellow humans is at stake.
Let’s go back and try to answer the question that started all this: What would I do if my child turned out homosexual?
The truth is: I don’t have that much control in life. Thinking of such a question is attempting to exert control on my future; control that I don’t have. It’s stressing myself out and that is not fun. So like Taylor Swift says in this song whose video was recently voted the best in the VMA awards, I just need to calm down.
Remember, it’s never black and white.
And hey, learning never stops.
Feel free to leave your thoughts below
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